Mommy's Little Pharmacist
by Blonde Panther
Summary: When Camilla learns she's pregnant with her and Kaze's first baby, she is ecstatic... however, there is the small issue of what King Garon will do if he finds out his eldest daughter is involved with a Hoshidan traitor. Not eager to find out, Camilla instead enlists the help of her siblings to hide the baby.


**Disclaimer:** Fire Emblem and all related concepts and names belong to Intelligent Systems and Nintendo.  
 **Characters and Pairings:** Camilla/Kaze, Xander/Corrin, mentions of Leo/Nyx.  
 **Warnings:** High amounts of Camilla. Also the pacing is soooooo baaaaaaaad.  
 _ **Author's Notes:**_ _Happy 2017 –may it be less shitty than 2016- to all my readers, and in particular a very happy birthday to Darth_Slaverus! I know I've been teasing you a lot with the mystery of what this fic would be about, and you came pretty close to guessing! You brought this idea up once during a chat, and I took it and ran with it. I'm so sorry about the terrible pacing and the horrible ending, but I hope you like it regardless! Camilla was actually pretty fun to write, though, so I might have to do so more often._

* * *

The human heart was a funny thing. Camilla had known that for years, of course, when dear Corrin's love for Xander so obviously turned from familial into romantic. She'd faithfully kept her adoptive sister's secret until she herself was ready to tell him, but couldn't suppress a chuckle when Xander announced, privately to only his half-siblings, that he and Corrin would be wed after the war. She had fully predicted it that way and collected good money on the bet she had made with Selena; Xander's affection for Corrin had been as obvious to her as he was unreadable to others.

Perhaps she was just well-attuned to the romantic affairs of others, or perhaps her mother had been right when she had criticized her for being 'overly empathic.' Save for the interpretation that this was a bad thing, of course; if Camilla felt more empathy than most, she was grateful for it, for it allowed her to help her precious siblings and retainers better if she understood them better. So yes, Camilla was well aware that the human heart, especially in matters of love, often did unexpected and irrational things.

And still, the green-haired ninja had caught her off-guard. Although a traitor to his country, he could match Jakob, Felicia, and Flora in his undying devotion to Corrin. He was kind and earnest, but without the almost sickening naiveté most Hoshidans displayed. Quite simply put, he was... a light. A single, small speck of light that stood out in Nohr's eternal darkness. It was that light that drew women from all over to him. After all, moths were drawn to fire as well. But Camilla hadn't had any of it- she had swooped in and claimed him as her own, suffering no protest from peasant, soldier, or noble.

This was not without its... challenges, of course. Camilla was Nohrian, and a princess. Should anything happen to Xander –Dusk Dragon forbid, she thought, but this _was_ war- she would come into power in Nohr. Kaze was Hoshidan; his family had served the Hoshidan throne for generations and in fact his twin brother still did so. Camilla could easily abdicate her position as second-in-line to Leo, or not worry about it at all since Xander did have Corrin and they had their little one, but the entire Hoshido thing was harder to overcome.

Not to Camilla, of course. She could care less for where her beloved had been born and how he had been trained. If anything, hadn't his ninjutsu, shurikens, and intimate knowledge of the Hoshidan terrain been exceptionally useful to them already? And although he had his adorable Hoshidan accent, he spoke Nohrian well enough that they had no issues at all communicating.

Xander cared equally little. And honestly, even if he had minded, he had little right to criticise her choice in men considering he had fallen in love with a woman he had called 'sister' for years. One word of criticism from his lips, and Camilla would never let him live that down. He knew that well. Similarly, considering both Nyx's apparent age and her estimated true age, Leo knew better than to give Camilla any reason to taunt him with his relationship. She had to chuckle whenever she thought about it. Apparently, Nohr's royal line was doomed to be tainted with scandal from all sides. At least it kept life interesting. As for Elise… she didn't even understand why Nohr and Hoshido were considered so different and wasn't aware that Kaze's birth would cause problems in Nohr, the darling.

As for Kaze himself, he assured her that he would never have asked for Camilla's hand if he had feared that the circumstances surrounding them and the challenges they created would overwhelm his love for her. Corrin, who had naturally been first to hear about the engagement, had certainly not protested, congratulating them both on the engagement and making Camilla swear that her future baby could grow up together with the second child she fully intended to have.

No, the problem lay elsewhere. Namely, with Father. He was entirely beyond reason; planning to execute Corrin after she'd sided with Nohr, simply because she had met her Hoshidan family and survived the attack in their capital; ordering the mass murder of hundreds of innocent Hoshidans… no, he would never tolerate his eldest daughter marrying a Hoshidan warrior, even if he had betrayed his former lieges. Once a Hoshidan, always a Hoshidan, was King Garon's line of thought, and he would not hesitate to have Kaze executed- and maybe even Camilla as well, if he considered her love for the ninja an act of treason.

Perhaps it was a good thing that Laslow couldn't keep his mouth shut and had accidentally revealed Xander's engagement to Corrin to the rest of the camp, for it had caused a bit of a ruckus that had covered up Camilla's own engagement and wedding plans. The two of them could handle themselves; the ruckus, which was largely fuelled by jealousy, the loss of the most desirable bachelor in Nohr, and the connotations of their joint upbringing, would fizzle out and leave them and their relationship entirely untouched.

And there was another way in which Xander's love for Corrin would prove helpful for her, she thought as she entered his tent unannounced. Xander was a beast of habit; normally, around this time of the day, he would be going over the military reports and prepare for a strategy meeting with Corrin and Leo. So naturally, it was a surprise to her when he wasn't alone in his tent, but rather accompanied by a young lad. Camilla blinked, caught off-guard, but quickly recognized the white curls, dark eyes, pointed ears and sharp features of her nephew. "Ah, Siegbert," she said, smiling warmly. "You look wonderfully well."

"Thank you, Aunt Camilla," Siegbert said, unable to resist his reflex to bow to her. "Father saw fit to take me out of my Deeprealm and enlist me in the army."

"I look forward to seeing what havoc you can wreak on the Hoshidans, dear," she said. "If your sword arm takes after your father's as much as the rest of you does, I'm sure you're a force to be reckoned with." Siegbert blushed and muttered that he would never measure up to his father's greatness on the battlefield, much to Camilla's amusement. It was so reminiscent of the days after Father had first taken her in, when she had had to help ease these same insecurities and anxieties for Xander.

It wasn't her place to tell Siegbert this, though; it was for Xander to tell him if he felt it was appropriate or necessary. As if Xander feared that she would do it regardless, he cleared his throat and tapped his papers against his hand to align them. "Siegbert," he said, standing up and holding it out to his son, "Would you be so kind to take these to your mother and let her know I will join her and your uncle as soon as I can? I believe your aunt has matters to discuss."

"Yes, Father." Siegbert took the papers and took off, leaving Xander and Camilla alone.

"He's a dear," Camilla said, still smiling. "I didn't know you had plans to bring him back."

"I didn't," Xander admitted. "Neither did Corrin. But as it turns out, he's been fighting… invaders… in his Deeprealm. There were a good number of them, emerging from the water, when I last visited him." He shook his head. "It was no longer safe. And besides, he no longer wanted to be there. He almost begged us to bring him back with us. He so desperately wanted to be of use." He sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"Wasn't it you who said he wouldn't be safe here either, though?" Camilla's expression turned serious. "Father was this close to foaming at the mouth when he found out about you and Corrin. Won't Siegbert be in danger if Father finds out about him?"

"He is well aware of the risks," Xander assured her. "At least, he claims to be; and he is a prodigious child in many ways, so I have no reason to doubt him. He is old enough that he can be passed off as a recruit."

"I think you're understating his resemblance to Corrin and yourself, brother dear."

"Perhaps." That caught her off-guard. She had expected Xander to argue this for hours; he could be easily as obstinate as Leo. "But Father's wrath is something I can bear for him and protect him from. These things invading his Deeprealm… I wouldn't have known about them if they hadn't attacked during my visit. Siegbert says he didn't want to worry me, so he never told me about them. I couldn't leave him there and risk visiting later only to find out he had been slain." His signature frown deepened. "He insisted I had better things to worry about than his safety."

"He has that little regard for himself?" That was alarming. That the boy was anxious and insecure had not surprised Camilla, but the assumption that his father would care more for the war than for his own flesh and blood, and that that was the way it should be, was something he had most certainly not inherited from either parent.

"Yes. And I fear that I am to blame for that."

"What? Nonsense! I know I've not accompanied you on all your visits, but you've been nothing but a wonderful father to him-"

"-on the few occasions that I visited him every so many years." Xander sat down slowly, pensively. "The Deeprealm was a mistake. It's resulted in me neglecting him for years on end."

"That was outside of your power," Camilla said, sitting down next to him. "You visited as often as you could, and I'm sure he knows that!"

"It wasn't enough. I should have intercepted these issues of his before they became this much of a problem. We underestimated how quickly time would flow there, but it was my decision to abandon him there." He stood up, deciding that he was late enough for the meeting, laughing wryly. "Do not make my mistake, Sister. Do not have children in the middle of this war."

She watched him leave, sighing deeply and putting a hand over her stomach. "Were that I could still make that choice, Brother."

It hadn't been long since she'd found out. A few days ago, Marzia had started to snuggle her stomach more and more often, prodding at it for no reason and giving her piercing stares. Trusting the undead wyvern's keen senses, she had asked the more articulate dragon in their company if she sensed something off, afraid that she had finally caught some sort of deadly infection from the food out here. When Corrin described what she smelt and sensed, though, there was only really one conclusion for the Nohrian princess to come to. She hadn't told Corrin, only thanked her and assured her that she would be alright.

After all, Kaze had to be the first person she told. She found him sitting in her tent when she returned, arms crossed and eyes closed in an expression she knew meant he was deep in thought. His senses were sharp however, and he looked up immediately when he heard her enter. "Camilla," he simply said. "You seem downtrodden. What did Lord Xander have to say on the matter?"

"Nothing positive," Camilla admitted, sitting herself down in her husband's lap. "He sorely regrets putting Siegbert in a Deeprealm. There was too much time between his visits, even when he visited evening after evening. Time in the Deeprealm simply passed too quickly and he fears Siegbert grew up lonely and feels his parents abandoned him." She shook her head. "I… don't want that for our baby."

Kaze sighed. "I fear my own investigation into the matter yielded similar results, except that my nephew doesn't appear to be as cordial to his father as Prince Siegbert is to Lord Xander. It appears that Deeprealms aren't much of an option after all, unless we were to stay with it until it is old enough that it will understand."

"That's not really possible, though," Camilla protested. "No matter how quickly time in Deeprealms passes compared to here, we would still be absent for weeks. Father is no fool; he will notice me gone, with no missions to account for my absence."

"Can you not claim such a mission?" Clearly, Kaze was considering this option. "Surely, Lady Corrin and Lord Xander would be happy to help you with this problem."

"Oh, Corrin and Xander aren't the problem." She sighed deeply. "Once again, it's Father and his men. More precisely, Iago. The snake keeps tabs on all of us. It's a miracle I've evaded him to the point where our marriage is a secret. He'll know that I'm not on whatever mission I claim." She sat back, placing a hand on her shoulder to fiddle with her hair- a sure sign that she was thinking more deeply than usual. "I'm afraid we'll have to be less discreet. Next time Corrin calls a retreat to the Dragon's Nest, we'll have to call my siblings together and announce the news."

"I agree," Kaze said, nodding. "They may have more tangible advice to share on Deeprealms or alternatives if they know the full reason we're asking."

Fortunately, it wasn't long until Corrin called the retreat they had been waiting for. Cautiously, so that they wouldn't be seen or caught by Garon's men, those soldiers who were directly allied to the dragon snuck away, teleported to the Astral Fortress by the tiny but powerful Lilith. Camilla had smiled when Elise had been last to arrive with Benny and her retainers and had immediately pounced on the little dragon with her goldfish tail to rub her belly like she would a dog, but had quickly asked for the attention of her siblings because she had something important she'd wanted to talk about. There had been no protest, Corrin had suggested that they go to the Mess Hall to discuss whatever it was, and Xander had agreed to let Siegbert join them when Kaze requested his presence as well.

Once the others had taken seats on either side of the long dining table, Camilla and Kaze sat themselves down at the table's head. "I haven't really put much thought into how to say this," Camilla said, "So I'll just be straightforward. Kaze and I are expecting a baby." The others reacted about as she had expected, with Corrin and Elise wasting no time congratulating her but Xander and Leo's gazes darkening considerably. Camilla waited for her sisters to come back down from their excitement high and to sit back down. "I probably don't need to explain why this is as much a problem as it makes me happy… Brother, this is why I asked you about the Deeprealms the other day."

"If Siegbert were found out," Xander agreed, "Then at most he, Corrin, and I would have been faced with corporeal punishment." Which was nothing to write home about, quite the contrary, but something he could deal with if he had to. The chief reason he was as active in preventing them from being found out was that he didn't want Corrin and Siegbert to be hurt. "But if Father finds out about you, Camilla…"

"Then you and Kaze both will be put to death," Leo finished, his arms crossed and his gaze unreadable. "As well as the child if it's been born by then. What were you thinking, Camilla?"

"To place it in a Deeprealm for its safety," Camilla said, blatantly ignoring the lecture her younger brother had meant to give her for the sake of moving the discussion forward, "like Xander and Corrin have done with Siegbert. But now, I hear that that's not ideal either…"

"Ideal would be not having children in the middle of a war," Xander said. "But I am hardly at liberty to criticize you for it." He turned to Siegbert, now understanding why his son had been requested at the table. "Siegbert. Your perspective on the matter is unique at this table as you are the only one who has grown up in a Deeprealm, without his parents present for most of his life. What do you think?"

Siegbert immediately coloured, anxious at his entire family suddenly looking at him. He coughed, took a deep breath, and shut his eyes to choose his words. "Well," he finally said, "I'm aware of the situation on this side. I always was. I know why I was placed in my Deeprealm. But… that doesn't mean I was always glad for it. I did miss you, Father, and Mother. There were, and still are, times when I wish that I could have grown up normally. In Nohr." He bowed his head, and when he looked up, he smiled. "However, precisely because of how quickly I've grown up, I now have the unique opportunity to fight at your sides in this conflict and to learn from Nohr's finest knight in his prime. To make a difference, even."

Corrin smiled, running a hand through his hair from where she sat at his side. "I don't doubt your baby will have its moments of loneliness, Camilla," she then said, turning to her older sister seriously. "But it's as Xander said- the alternative is all three of you being executed by Father."

"I agree," Leo said. "As much as I understand your hesitance, you don't really have an alternative. Less so even than Corrin and Xander had." He turned his head to where Corrin had tapped Xander on an arm and they were now furiously whispering amongst themselves. "Would the two of you care to share with all of us?" Under normal circumstances, Camilla would have giggled at the authority in his voice. Leo was so easily frustrated by public displays of obsession, to the point where he would try to order even Xander around.

Right now, though, Corrin waved at him to shush him, finished her hushed discussion with Xander, and turned to Camilla. "There's a way we might be able to uh," she scratched the back of her head, "Alleviate the child's loneliness in the Deeprealm. I hate to hog your announcement, but I'm expecting another child too."

The entire table jumped when Leo slammed both hands down on the table in frustration at his retarded siblings and walked out, leaving everyone, but especially Elise, mortified. "…I'll speak with him later," Xander said, shaking his head and turning back to Camilla. "It is as Corrin says. And perhaps our respective irresponsibility can make the decision easier for us all. How would you feel about your child and ours growing up in the same Deeprealm, together?"

Camilla looked sideways at Kaze, swearing that if he hadn't been as much a master of his emotions as he was, his jaw would have hit the floor. She'd only barely managed to catch her own, after all. It wouldn't be the same as their baby growing up with its parents, of course. But it would be so much better than being all by itself with only servants to keep it company. "That would be wonderful!" She jumped up from her seat to rush over to Corrin and embrace her tightly. Their children would be growing up together, after all, then!

Corrin was as ecstatic as she was. "Yes! I'll go get Lilith and we'll go looking for a suitable Deeprealm right now!"

She swore that she even saw Xander's brow unfurrowing as he stood up from the table. "While you do that, I will go and find Leo. His behaviour was uncalled for. Perhaps he will contribute to the search as a means of making it up to you."

Elise joined in on the hug, and when Camilla looked back at her husband she could only see relief on his face. Not only had they reached an agreement on the Deeprealm problem, but none of Camilla's siblings had made any sort of protest against her having a child with a Hoshidan traitor. She grinned. If she was going to go against her father's expectations and be irresponsible, she would do it right, she supposed.

 _ **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

Marzia's wings flapped furiously at her sides, wind howling by her as she soared towards the location marked on her map. Corrin had said there was an entrance to the children's Deeprealm at that location, one they didn't need Lilith to access- but more importantly, one that the invisible soldiers that had attacked a nearby village in recent days might have used to invade the Deeprealm, themselves. Upon hearing the news, Camilla had immediately remembered what Xander had said about Siegbert fighting off such invasions. Siegbert had murmured that he had been in his Deeprealm for longer than Midori and Kana had been in theirs by this point, and that had been enough to set the young mothers off; Camilla had leapt onto Marzia before Kaze could grab hold of her, and Corrin had transformed and flown off beside her.

" _There!_ " Corrin roared at her side, startling Marzia and prompting the undead beast to respond with a roar of her own. Corrin inclined her massive head to a swirling light not far from where they were flying. She banked, Marzia following the manoeuvre, and Camilla took her axe from her side as she flew into the light, coming out in a different realm. Marzia landed, talons digging deep into the ground, and Camilla leapt down from her back to the two children sitting not far from them. One of them, a blonde-haired boy wearing distinct Nohrian clothes under his peculiar armour and with sharply pointed ears, was doing his best to console the little girl with light purple pigtails, who carried an immense trunk on her back and was in tears. At least they were both unharmed, so Camilla felt her panic ebbing away.

"Oh dear," she said, setting her axe down and putting a hand on Midori's shoulder. "What's the matter, sweetheart? Did some brigand make you cry?" Midori looked up at her, but didn't answer. She hiccupped, both with her sobs and with a start as Corrin landed behind them, Kana immediately running over to hug her. "Come now, you can tell Mother. Father and Uncle Xander will be here soon, too. If anyone hurt you, they'll rue the day."

"N-no," she said, her voice shaky. "It's not that… it's just… I worked so hard to find a batch of Dragon Herbs for you and Father as a present… and some lady came by and stole them, and she wouldn't give them back!" Dragon Herbs?! Camilla's eyes widened. Those were incredibly valuable herbs, and not just in the medicinal use that Midori had quickly developed a fondness for. The little girl had inherited her mother's love for others, but her father's subtlety and pragmatism. She hated battle, so instead, she had endeavoured to help others by brewing and handing out medicine. Of course she would work hard for a bunch of Dragon Herbs…

And some _beast_ thought she had the right to steal those from her? "Don't you worry, darling," Camilla said, patting her shoulder as she heard another Wyvern and a pair of hooves come through the portal and stopping behind her. The hooves weren't heavy enough to sound like Kaiser's. Huh. So Xander and Kaze had _not_ been the closest behind her. "Beruka! Selena!" She stood up, looking over her shoulder at her retainers. "We have a thief to catch. Hunt that woman down and send her my way."

She waited until Kaze and Xander arrived, along with Laslow, Peri, and Corrin's own retainers, before she took to the skies, flying above the forests of the Deeprealm, and employed Marzia's sharp nose to track down the Dragon Herbs, and by proxy the thief. It wasn't long until Beruka joined her, reporting that she and Selena had found the woman Midori had described and Selena was currently giving chase. She pointed her out, just as a fat woman in gaudy pink clothing stumbled from the woods into a clearing, followed by the red-haired rider pelting her with arrows.

Camilla wasted no more time. When the woman got up, she turned around to a very angry Wyvern with glowing red eyes. Marzia growled, but Marzia was the least of her problems. "So," Camilla said, rage dripping from her sweet voice. "Steal from my little girl, will you?" Her axe gleamed. "We'll see about that." The woman readied an arrow in her bow, prompting an angry snort from Marzia and a giggle from Camilla. "You think I fear your bow? That's adorable!"

Marzia had no reason to fear the bandit's arrows- she had been dead since long before she had ever taken Camilla for her master. Camilla, for her part, trusted fully in the beast's swiftness and her own tenaciousness to either avoid or take the first arrow into a part of her body that wouldn't affect her swing. Marzia lunged forward, wings tucked closely to her body and head held low while Camilla held her axe slightly behind her in preparation of a long swing.

The bandit shot, aiming for one of Camilla's shoulders- normally, a wise move, as she needed both arms to wield this particular weapon. But Marzia's bulk had always belied her swiftness, and her head shot up, jaws snapping shut on the arrow and breaking it in threes. Before the woman could process what had happened, the beast crashed into her, pouncing her to the ground and leaving her vulnerable to Camilla's axe. "There," Camilla said. "Wouldn't it just have been easier to leave the Dragon Herbs with my darling Midori?"

In retrospect it was probably for the best that Marzia had caught the arrow instead of Camilla. Midori would just have needlessly worried about her mother if she'd shown up with a fresh injury, especially since it would have been taken in an attempt to reclaim what Midori had lost. While the wyvern affectionately nuzzled little Midori, Camilla swung her legs over the saddle and leapt down elegantly. "Kaze, darling, will you see to it that the stragglers are removed from the Deeprealm?" The ninja smiled, nodded, and vanished, as Camilla pulled the herbs from her belt and held them out to Midori. "Here you go, sweetheart. Didn't I tell you Mother would take care of everything?"

"Thank you, Mother," Midori said, taking the herbs from her and smiling. "Umm… Do you think I could come with you when you leave again?"

"Oh, sweetie…" Camilla shook her head, though still smiling. "You know I'd love to have you with me. But you know why you're here, right?"

"Well, yeah… But the fact is… Kana and I were talking. And cousin Siegbert left _his_ Deeprealm when he was old enough and could contribute to the war effort!" She shook a little, sniffling. "I can make so many different kinds of medicine! And Kana can turn into a dragon! We can help…"

"Midori…" Sighing, Camilla knelt in front of her little daughter. "Siegbert was older than you are now when he joined us. You'd be a great asset and nothing would make me happier… but you'll have to ask your father. I simply love you too much to make an unbiased decision."

"I- I will!"

"Give him the Dragon Herbs while you're at it," Camilla advised, watching her little girl bounce off. She smiled to herself, patting Marzia. Kaze wouldn't be able to refuse her, either. So unless Xander and Corrin made a scene –which they wouldn't, since Midori was not their affair- she could finally have her precious little daughter at her side at all times.

Of course, Father was still a bit of an issue. But he would need Iago's services to find out about Midori's heritage. And if that snake or his men came anywhere near the girl… Well, Camilla was hardly the only Nohrian royal child whose weapon had been itching to sever his head from his body.


End file.
